Re: Wallops #7

[CJ FINE <cbmvax!uunet!cuvmb.cc.columbia.edu!C.J.Fine>]

I don't know how far it's me and how far it's you, but I was able to
make sense of most of this without consulting the translation, or my
gi'uste.

Comments herewith.

> la xar. lu .i ko pleji ke'u mu'i lemu'e mi capu grebei do li'u

        "mu'i"? With purpose? I would prefer "ki'u"

> la xar. lu .ixu.ianai su'o remna na ponse su'o fepni li'u

        "fepni" - I would be inclined to use "sicni" throughout.

> la men. lu .i.aiku'i mi darxi do lemi grana gi'eja'ebo fedgau ledo besyvau
 li'u

        "fedgau ledo besyvau" - what's wrong with "porpi ledo stedu"? Or
                        "sedbo'u" if you want to be a little more
                        specific.

> la xer. lu .i zau la zeus. mi.ei se sidju.uuse'i .ijo mi caba pleji ji'a.ue

        I didn't get the idiomatic sense of this at all. I read it as
        "With Zeus' approval, I must get help if I pay ..." - which
        probably is the literal meaning of "heaven help me if", but
        did not work for me. I don't know how better to do it though.

> la xar. lu .ixu do caba ropamei jgici'i lenu mo'ifa'avi ba'o na'e pleji litru

        "jgici'i" - "proud explain?" perhaps you mean "jgicu'u"?

> la men. lu .i je'a pleji doi xagrai .iji'ubo mi jacle'a le bloti gi'e sidju

        I didn't get "jacle'a" at all - "water take (with x2 the boat!).
        At least use "vimcu" rather than "lebna", but I think something
        like "to'e tisna" might be better still.

> la xar. lu .i do cusku lo cpina .i go'e mu'i lenu mi la .ai,aKOS. tosa'a vomoi
> pinka toi lenu go'e cu se cnemu loinu mi se xadyxra li'u

        "cnemu" for "punish" is rather good, provided it can actually
        mean this, and does not have a necessarily favorable sense. If
        it does, you need something like "je'unai" and maybe "zo'o".
        You seem to be asserting "go'e": "I'll do it because he rewards
        me for doing it ...". Is there something missing?

> la xar. lu .i.e'unai ca lenu mi krecpa do; li'u

        "krecpa" is "hair-get" - I don't know what you meant by it.
        (Does the Greek talk about hair and it's not in the English,
        or something?) I would have thought something involving "jgari".

> .i la MEnipos. goi ko'a cu tadnrfilosofo. le'a la kinik. tozoigy. cynic gy.toi
> ca le ni'ucimoi ctonanca ra'ivi la gadaras. peve'a le stici sirxo gugde

        As far as I can make out, "ra'ivi" is not grammatical.

> jdini vencu

        "jdini vecnu" is rather good, though it confused me at first.

>        .i so'o selfinti tcita
> cu romei lei se finti be ru be'o poi se sanji mipeca

        I'm a bit unhappy with "so'o li'o tcita cu romei lei se finti
        li'o". Are they titles or works?
        I also wonder about "sanji". I take that to mean that these few
        items are all we know *about* now (the only ones whose existence
        we have heard of), not just that they are the only ones we know
        (have the text of). Is this your meaning?

> .i ra so'oroi pilno lo se tavla be la MEnipos. be'o tu'a levo'a se
> finti

        "He sometimes used people (who actually were) talked to by M."
        Is this right?

>.i ko'a vajrai prenu ci'e so'i morsi je drata nu casnu pefi'e la lukiaNOS.

        "so'i morsi je drata nu casnu" I think expands to "so'ida poi
        morsi nu casnu gi'e drata nu casnu", i.e. each of the
        discussions is both dead and other.

>
> .icimai la MEnipos. ce la antistenes. ce la di'ogenes. ce la krates. noi
> tadnrfilosofo le'a la kinik. cu paromei lei na klaku bevi la mromunje gi'e
> roroi cmila je ckasu

        I think the "noi" only applies to "la krates". I don't know how
        to get round this. I don't particularly like the set connective
        "ce" here - I would use "jo'u". You can probably get away with
        it because it's the x1 of "paromei", though.

> .imumai la lukiaNOS. skicu le tadnrfilosofo bele'a la kinik. fo lo dasni bela
> tribonion. ce lo gacri bukpu co xaksu kuce lo dakli pe le janco ge'u ce lo
> ganra .i le dakli cu vasru loi dembrlupino noi cidja loi pindu
>
        I like "ce" even less here. They're wearing clothes, not a set.
        I can't find "pindu" in my gi'uste. Is it supposed to be "pikci"?

> .ixamai la xekates. cu vipsi cevni fika'u le se cibylajykruca

        Has the place structure of "cevni" changed? I have only two
        places in my gi'uste. (I've just realised I haven't looked
        it up in the new logdata list, but that's not official yet, is
        it?)

> .iseki'ubo se
> pirskicu fo ci tarmi pere'o lo kamju

        "Three shapes next to a column"? Is that what you meant?
        ta'o, I like "pirskicu"

> . . .pu'a la xekates.

        I think you mean "sepu'a"

> .i ra
> citka ve vimcu fi le sanmi

        I'm not clear on this. Does it mean "leftovers"?

> .i le jdacuvri'a
> se friti nemu'u lo sovda cazi se lebna lei pindu ki'u lenu leka xagji cu
> jdikyri'a leni cesna terpa

        I can find neither "jdik-" nor "cesna", so it's hard to
        translate this. I guess it means "The offering gets taken by
        beggars because their hunger overcomes their ? fear", but the
        last bit doesn't parse. I think you want "leka xagji kei"
>
> .ibimai le mela kinik. cu zifre le marji pluka bo dacti je malpa'a gi'e na
> terpa zo'e peca'a gi'e ropamei lei na senpi be lezu'e klama la xades.

        I wonder about "zo'e pe" (I know others have used it). Isn't
        "zo'e" defined to be non-designating? I suspect that "da" or
        "roda" is better.


                Nice going, Nick.
                Kolin
                        c.j.fine@bradford.ac.uk