Re: Translation Exercise (from ConLang)

["Jorge J. Llambías" <jorge@INTERMEDIA.COM.AR>]

Here are some comments. Of course, there never is
one "right" translation, so many of these are just matters
of style.

>Man 1. Pardon me, sir.
>
 >        pe'u lo xagnau .u'u do'u .e'o do fraxu mi

This seems like excessive meekness to me. A simple
{pe'u xagnau} should do it, I think, but I guess we don't know
how these idioms will develop in Lojban.

> Do you have change for a two-bob-bit?,
>           for I wish to purchase a train ticket.
>
>        .i ga'inai e'o do canja
>           le sicni be fi re lo lojbo rupnu
>           le cmalu vamji sicni
>           mu'i le nu mi djica le nu mi te vecnu lo trene pikta

It should be {lei cmalu vamji sicni}. He doesn't want to
change the two-jboru'u coin for each of some number
of small value coins, but for all of them together.

>Man 2. Why, yes, my good man.  Here you go.  I say, you're not
>           from around here, are you?
>
>        fi'i lo xagype'o do'u mi dunda fi do
>        ni'o pe'i do na ta'e xabju vi lo gugypau ju'oru'e mu'o

{do na ta'e xabju vi lo gugypau} means "it is not the case that
there is some country-part such that you habitually live there".
That would mean that he is always moving from place to place.
You should use {le gugypau} to refer to a given country-part.

>Man 1. Why no, sir.  I am from [insert your country here].
>
 >        .iesai mi xabju la Konleng.

I'm not sure about {iesai}. To me it means something like
"I think the same as you" but here we want something like
"you're right". {je'u} or {ju'o} would make more sense to me.

>Man 2. Well, sir, you speak top notch [insert your Conlang
>           here].
>
>        do certu le lojbo tavla

I'd say {do certu le ka lojbo tavla}. He's an expert in being
a speaker. {le lojbo tavla} is "the lojban speaker", but who
would that be? Himself? "You are in relationship {certu}
with yourself"?

>Man 1. Why thank you, sir. ...
>
 >        .i'o co'o

Why not {ki'e}?

co'o mi'e xorxes